TRICK OR TREAT aka RAGMAN (1986)
Marc Price, Tony Fields, Lisa Orgolini, Doug Savant, Gene Simmons, Ozzy Osbourne, Glen Morgan, Elaine Joyce
Directed by Charles Martin Smith
Before burnout Canadian metalhead Todd Smith and his trials with the Book of Pure Evil, there was poor misunderstood Eddie Weinbauer, aka 'Ragman' (with the nickname even on his license plate). He's the lone resident headbanger at Lakeridge High School and constantly picked on by the cool kids -- preppy bullies led by Tim Hainey who make his life miserable. Neither his music or his clothes allow him to be left alone from these immature idiots who look like they are on their way to being smarmy corporate crawlers in the FBLA. Eddie's only friend at school is another classmate, nerdy Roger. His other friend is a Wolfman Jack-ish rock n' roll DJ at the local radio station WZLP named Nuke. Listening to Nuke's show and pining over his love-interest -- Leslie, a popular girl out of his league and who barely knows he exists -- provides Eddie his only real solace but more than anything, he is the world's biggest loyal fan of Sammi Curr, a huge shock rock superstar who went to the same school, left this podunk hometown in his rearview, and became very famous. While Eddie does laundry, he's initially oblivious to a newscast of how Sammi was set to return in heroic triumph and play at the school Halloween bash. But alumnus Sammi was banned by the uptight City Council and PTA both citing his on stage behavior (animal cruelty), and Senate Inquiry controversy deeming his detestable songs pornographic(!) When Eddie zeroes in to the top story recap announcing Sammi's shocking death in a sinister hotel fire, he is devastated, throws a tantrum in his attic room, and is consoled by Nuke. After an interesting exchange about idol worship (from emotional Eddie's mumbling & rambling about martyrdom), Nuke gives the despondent & vulnerable teen a rare unreleased vinyl demo ("Songs in the Key of Death," a twist on Stevie Wonder). It's Sammi's final record and single only copy in existence, with the late-singer's request that it be played on Halloween at midnight. Eddie is floored by the gift, unaware of the darkness to come.
After previous sessions of hazing harassment by the preppy dickheads who first humiliate him in gym class infront of the girl's volleyball team (with Eddie nude from the showers and snapped on polaroid by Tim's girlfriend, Genie); and then almost drowned at a pool party from a round barbell weight shoved into his backpack and then being pushed into the pool, an enraged Eddie flips out on Leslie accusing her invite (where she atleast gave him back the polaroid) as a set-up, and swears revenge on his persecutors before stomping off. [Maybe it's just me but Leslie is a piece of work in this scene: She's a reluctant mean girl who apologizes but her look of bewilderment from Eddie's justified profanity, and her body language also take on a tone as if she is seriously on the verge of asking him why is he so angry and lashing out like this. Unbelievable]. At home still fuming, he falls asleep listening to the record which conjures up a dream of a strange voice coming from an upstairs room in flames with 2 dancing occupants on fire and Sammi sitting in a burning circle. Eddie awakens to the record skipping and hears what sounds like an incantation when he spins it in reverse, leaving him puzzled. The next day, feeling brave for a little mischief & hijinx, Eddie is chased through school in a madcap-style obstacle course (with help from a strategically placed chair & mop) after smashing Tim's spaghetti tray in his face in the cafeteria [tit-for-tat retaliation for Eddie's chocolate milk being tampered with earlier]. The chase ends with Tim using a fire extinguisher to unintentionally spray a group of teachers in their staff lounge. Back in his room, Eddie shares the messages from the record with skeptical Roger but the friend isn't convinced and leaves telling Eddie to be careful. Alone, Eddie is stunned to discover he can communicate with the deceased musician. Sammi's spirit will help sympathetic Eddie with "the plan" to get even for all the pain & embarrassment he's endured as a misfit & outsider.
At school, Eddie is by himself in machine shop class but doesn't get a chance to bite into his twinkie as Tim shows up with a buddy ready to kick his ass for being on detention. As Tim moves towards Eddie with a large wrench, a lathe machine suddenly turns itself on catching Tim's tie on a spindle wheel that pulls his head towards an incoming tailstock (drill) aiming straight for his eye. Screaming for the machine to be shut off, Eddie lets him struggle & squirm [tit-for-tat retaliation for the pool incident] before turning the lathe off. Tim was inches away from being blinded [which could have absolutely rivaled the 'splintered-wood-into-eye' from Lucio Fulcio's ZOMBIE FLESH EATERS/ZOMBI 2] and looks at Eddie like he's a psycho. He leaves the room with his buddy warning Eddie it's not over. Eddie listens to Sammi on the way home in his car, elated that he is indeed being guided with a force of protection to at last turn the tables on the preppies. The next day Nuke is on the air advertising an upcoming special Sammi Curr midnight tribute, while pervert Roger with no shame stares right up the skirt of a cheerleader on a ladder hanging a banner in a hallway. That night, Genie is accidentally almost killed in the backseat of Tim's car after a makeout session (with him having left to take a leak) in what can only be described as a Sony walkman-induced near-orgasm from a molesting cousin of Slimer from GHOSTBUSTERS, courtesy of a dubbed cassette tape -- which was initially meant to be a strike at Tim that Eddie left on his locker. [The more observant viewers will recognize that the gargoyley creature looks like the tattoo on Sammi's left upper chest]. When Tim angrily drops by Eddie's house because of Genie now in the hospital, he backs off due to flames Eddie raises from some menacing jack-o-lanterns on the porch. But a regretful Eddie realizes that this isn't the union he signed up for and realizes he has become a pawn in Sammi's evil scheme, who with summoning from the grave and the strength of the occult, plans on controlling the teen and wiping out everybody.
When Sammi threatens Leslie on the record and imitates Eddie's voice to get Mom into his room, Eddie is 'fuck no' to that nihilist nightmare bullshit [after all this is a heavy metal picture not punk] and tries to unplug his stereo only to get zapped by a power jolt that knocks him backwards. Sammi materializes in a thunder & lightning flash of crackling energy [just the sound of which reminds me of Snow Miser and Heat Miser making their grand entrances] with his skin-tight leather, and the right side of his mascara face burnt looking like a less severe Harvey Dent. He vanishes after a warning about loyalty causing Eddie to take a baseball bat to his stereo system thus destroying the record. In the morning, Eddie calls Roger asking him to retrieve & destroy the cassette tape held by Tim (as all the copies need to be eliminated as well). Roger breaks into Tim's car, grabs it from the walkman, and brings it back home. He attempts to play it out of curiosity and after lying to Eddie on the phone about getting rid of it, Sammi makes a housecall threatening Roger to play the tape that night or die, and again disappears into thin air. [The really more observant viewers will recognize that when Roger's TV went on the fritz, there was a buried John Carpenter salute going on as 2 'blink-and-you'll-miss' clips of ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK and THE FOG are spotted]. Halloween night arrives with Eddie's Mom (dressed as Madonna) meeting her boyfriend (dressed as Rambo) leaving Eddie home alone. Roger attends the school dance in the gym where he slips the tape into a boombox, while Eddie listens to light jazz, not wanting any metal to be a gateway for Sammi to show up. Leslie calls Eddie asking if he's coming to the party and he says no pretending to be sick, but when he hears metal in the background and is told it's from Roger's tape [which is astounding as Roger was never told to specifically play it at the dance, let alone bring it], he races over in his car. Sammi's voice comes over the radio and pulling from the playbook of CHRISTINE, takes control of the vehicle sending him on a wild drive through town, and comes to a stop at the end of a drawbridge.
Eddie runs back to the school where a student band is set to perform. When the lead singer-guitarist tries to adjust the feedback from his amp, he's grabbed by a hand and disappears in a puff of smoke with Sammi replacing him center stage. The band kicks in with their new frontman (yep, they just happen to know the songs) and gets the crowd-a-rockin'. As Sammi sings (lip-synching badly), Roger looks worried, Tim & his friends pay no attention, and Leslie leaves. During the guitar solo, Sammi uses the end on his axe to mow kids down in the audience, and the fatal charged bolts send everyone in a panic running for cover and towards the doors. [Whoa, looking at this in hindsight, the context of Sammi's actions seem to have a larger unthinkable yet eerie foreshadowing: the idea of school shootings that would become a disturbing phenomenon in the USA]. He turns on the band and after his kinda-CARRIE massacre, swings like Tarzan from on top a basketball backboard to the floor. A drunken Tim finds Leslie in the girl's bathroom [she's changed out of her costume and is completely oblivious to the total mayhem going on which can be heard] and asks her if she and Eddie are fucking, then adding that Eddie tried to kill him and is responsible for Genie being hurt. She refuses to believe the claims as Tim tells her he is only concerned for her safety. Eddie arrives outside the school to fleeing screaming kids and doofus Roger on the steps looking dazed & confused. He tells his friend to switch the building's power off and heads into the gym calling for Leslie, who is still in the bathroom with Tim. The yuppie jock tries to kiss her but when she pushes him away, he slaps her hard and she takes off. Eddie finds the tape, pulls out the reel, and stamps it under foot. He runs into Tim and tries to get him to leave but the resistant testosterone asshole is killed by Sammi and an improvised wall socket. Leslie finds Eddie and as police & paramedics descend on the school, he scrambles to find the circuit breaker panel [with Leslie STILL unaware of the havoc that's taken place. Seriously, c'mon already] which he finds padlocked.
Sammi appears and slowly walks towards them but Roger comes to the rescue armed with a crowbar and bashes the box into a shower of sparks. He's thrown back but is alive to be dragged outside for help. As the cops take statements from students outside, Eddie is fingered as the culprit for the supernatural shitstorm that has just gone down, and he & Leslie bail when the fuzz yell for him to stop. The duo are chased but hole up in an alley where Eddie explains to Leslie about Sammi's resurrection and the demonic darkside of the record using him as a conduit. Realizing that Nuke's midnight tribute is minutes away, Eddie makes an unsuccessful call to the radio station and the pre-recorded show kicks in. They run back to his house to get his Mom's car, while Sammi lethally blows a cop out of his boots and fries his bacon with reverse electricity from being tasered. Once home and hearing Sammi on the radio, Eddie smashes all of his radios, the TV, (and oh what the hell, the blender and toaster for good measure) with a fire poker. The duo head to the bathroom looking for the car keys which they find but Sammi drops in like Spiderman and explodes the slammed shut door [reminiscent of the the train door detonation from BUTCH CASSIDY AND THE SUNDANCE KID]. Sammi enters and trips infront of a thrown hamper resulting in his hand landing in the toilet to break his fall. Electrocution from the water has him spastically wriggling in pain and just as he frees himself, quick-thinking Leslie flushes the toilet which pulls Sammi back in, allowing the duo to escape and make it to the car. Eddie tries to disconnect the radio but he is flung out as the vehicle starts up on it's own, and drives away down the street and around a corner. In reverse(!)
The duo see the parked patrol car of Officer Boots, hop in, toss the police radio out the window, avoid the possessed car of Eddie's Mom, and use the siren to get past traffic as they speed to the radio station which is located in the middle of a big field. Once at the building they find no one there except a mini-tornado of surging flickers, flying objects and glowing light in the studio as the show's tape reel continues to play. Determined to finish what he started and have Sammi off the airwaves permanently, Eddie takes a small radio and lobs it in the back of the police car. He tells Leslie to stay put, count to 100, and run away from Sammi should he appear. If she's in the clear, she can run back in the radio station and destroy the tape reel. She agrees and he kisses her. He drives off and using the radio meant as diversionary bait, Eddie taunts & insults Sammi with the supreme jewel-in-the-crown unforgivable slur of calling him a "wimp poseur." Are Ragman and rocker destined for a final confrontation? Is Eddie an ungrateful sellout and what is his destination? Can Leslie get to the tape reel and stop the broadcast? If Leslie becomes Eddie's girlfriend, will she swap out Duran Duran for Iron Maiden [thus getting into another 'Eddie']? Does Eddie's Mom have home & car insurance? TRICK OR TREAT was the directorial debut for C.M. Smith who is also a recognized character actor with a long list of TV & film credits, and naturally has a small cameo. Had it not been him, I could see Roger Corman handling the goofiness. Aka, DEATH AT 33 RPM in foreign markets (and not to be confused with 2007's TRICK 'R TREAT), the movie's opening voiceover are condensed lines from the 16th Century German play 'The Tragical History of Doctor Faustus' based on the legend of a man summoning Mephistopheles.
Eddie's life plays like a checklist of ostracized teen loners gripped with feelings of torment and sunken self-worth: (A) from the sanctuary of his room crammed with books, magazines, posters, studded belts & wristbands, either a pet hamster or gerbil, and 2 of the best board games ever, he writes heart-felt confiding letters to his hero detailing his disenfranchised alienation from the status quo, and talks of death & implied suicide. (B) as an introverted metal kid who is picked on, ridiculed, and excluded, he immerses himself in the one thing that everyone else hates which becomes his personal shield for him to stand apart -- his music. (C) at the pool party (with glimpses of some topless chicks), Genie aks him how it feels to be a creepy loser freak and why can't he be normal instead of a dweeb. (D) his browsing mother snoops through his room looking visibly uncomfortable and wondering 'what is my son into' and 'why does he like this stuff' when she worryingly glosses over collected paraphernalia which feature pentagrams, baphomets & inverted crosses, and flips through graphic album covers. And (E) his already dismissive participation in school has turned into complete disinterest as he blows off exams without a care in the world. But here's the positive: Eddie is not a mixed-up misanthrope or a druggie stoner which were thee prevalent stereotypes for heshers. He's smart. And never feels like he has to be ashamed or change who he is because of people judging him. As the events in his ordeal precariously ramp up, he has courage and an inner strength which at first glance, many never would've guessed he had. Best known as geeky Skippy on Family Ties, Price was 18 when he portrayed Eddie which helped bring an identifiable juvenile accuracy to the role. Fields was a unique casting choice as Sammi whose method of travel pre-dates SHOCKER and THE HORROR SHOW. With a blend of Alice Cooper, a pinch of Marilyn Manson and a combo of Freddy Krueger, he does a stirring good job considering his background as a Solid Gold dancer, and appearing in videos for Michael Jackson and Lionel Richie. He died at 36 of HIV-related cancer in February 1995.
Morgan as Roger went uncredited for his screenplay contribution, as did James Wong but both men went on to write several X-Files episodes together. Morgan also wrote 2 of the FINAL DESTINATION movies, directed the remakes of WILLARD and BLACK CHRISTMAS, and is an executive producer on Jordan Peele's Twilight Zone reboot. Savant went on to Melrose Place and Desperate Housewives. The remaining cast also features a surprisingly coherent and clean cut Ozzy Osbourne poking fun at himself as the preaching Reverend Aaron Gilstrom: a fire & brimstone, Pat Robertson anti-rock evangelist on TV with his moral crusade that rails against obscenity & degeneracy. It's a short, brilliantly funny satirical bit of spoof that almost steals the movie considering that at this same time in 1986, Ozzy himself for real was being roasted by Tipper Gore and her bipartisan PMRC (Parents Music Resource Center) alarmist squad of do-gooders attacking his (and Judas Priest's) music & lyrics for promoting a variety of ills in youth such as anti-socialism, anarchy, violence, and our 2 biggies: satanism and suicide -- from backwards hidden messaging no less. I remember these ladies as they made the rounds on the talk show circuit and how over-the-top they could be, blathering on about warning stickers, subliminal transmission, vulgarity, and devil obsession. Inspite of and because of such controversy, TRICK OR TREAT can be seen as reactionary & representative of a moment where a group of bored watchdog housewives kept finding dangers that otherwise weren't real. Full of ignorant misinformation; hysteria; exploitation; sensationalism; some outright fabrication; and ridiculous fearmongering, the PMRC were an irritating witch hunt assembly: stoking the fears of how the power of suggestion could be long-term damaging to a teen audience they assumed would only ever be manipulated. Using provocation to invoke kneejerk hyperbole & panic in like-minded sheep to come under their sway, and join their cause of censorship & banning, the insidiousness didn't stop there. The PMRC even cited severe dire warnings for parents to beware lest they end up having their throats cut in their sleep by their own children because of these same kids with long hair; or into music with loud guitars; or wearing skulls on black t-shirts; or scrawling Slayer graffiti; or watching & singing along to Twisted Sister videos.
Looking back on it now it's all so laughable, and it's the PMRC who were really the repellent folks. Even John Denver(!) blasted them as an exercise in futility. [When Sammi yanks an anti-rock advocate out of Roger's TV, the woman's dessicated corpse crumbles in charred ash and skeletal dust. It's a metaphorical fantasy on imagining what it would be like to wring the neck of a pompous bigmouth wind bag]. In conclusion, there are no shortage of one-star reviews for TRICK OR TREAT deeming it lousy but I pay no mind to those ratings. It's bloodless [you'll encounter far more gore playing Dungeons & Dragons, or watching Game of Thrones], not scary, tame, has cartoony sfx, a Halloween holiday hardly integral, and is quite cheesy but all with charming mileage(!) and a cult following. Even with a climax that spins its wheels playing a game of beat the clock, it's still way better than TERROR ON TOUR, ROCKTOBER BLOOD, HARD ROCK ZOMBIES, ROCK 'N' ROLL NIGHTMARE, BLACK ROSES, and SHOCK 'EM DEAD. To me quite simply, this is one of those near n' dear time capsule flicks full of fun that instantly takes me back and recalls some good memories & positive associations during a period in my life so that's a nice bonus. Damn, even the 24-7 smug & condescending raging egomaniac that is Gene Simmons as Nuke [who turned down the role of the villain after it was also originally offered to Blackie Lawless of W.A.S.P., and is hanging out in this picture until the next 'final' KISS tour] is good and watchable here. And his grounded character is open to interpretation as to whether or not he was an ominous & nefarious individual with cryptic clues. [Just how did he get that record]? Seeing as how horror & metal have always gone hand-in-hand as a perfect match, the movie's music provides one small gripe: The songs are predominantly by Fastway, yet for all the bands engulfing Eddie's world (Anthrax, Raven, Mötley Crüe, Megadeth, Mercyful Fate, Exciter, Imapler, Possessed, Savatage, Lizzy Borden), the official generic soundtrack dropped the ball seeing as how it could've/should've been way better. In total, TRICK OR TREAT is a highly nostalgic gem that gets thrashing horns up [and makes a great triple bill with THE GATE and DEATHGASM].
TRICK OR TREATS (1982)
Jacqueline Giroux, Peter Jason, Chris Graver, Carrie Snodgress, Steve Railsback, Jillian Kesner, David Carradine, Catherine E. Coulson
Directed by Gary Graver
Millionaire Los Angeles industrialist Malcolm O'Keefe (who looks like singer Meat Loaf) and wife Joan are having breakfast in their backyard by the pool. She answers a knock at the front door by 2 men from the Western State Hospital mental institution whom she called to haul hubby away for reasons never explained. After a zany Keystone Kops routine, he is forcibly subdued & straitjacketed by the orderlies. We cut to several years later, with aspiring actress Linda (Giroux) on the phone with her boyfriend Brett (Railsback in a wasted role who at the time was married to Giroux). She can't make his opening night play of Othello due to needed money from a babysitting gig for some rich parents attending a Las Vegas Halloween party that night -- a remarried Joan, and her hubby Richard Adams. Linda gives Brett the address of the house for him to drop by afterwards. Back in the mental hospital and surrounded by an assortment of loonies, Malcolm (who does seem unhinged) plots to escape vowing revenge against Joan for having him involuntarily committed (presumably to inherit his wealth). Linda arrives to the kid she'll be looking after named Christopher, an irritating unruly little shit and budding amateur magician. After creepy Richard flirts with Linda offering a drink and trying to unbutton her top(!), Joan interrupts his lechery and the parents leave. Christopher quickly proceeds to scare & irk his gullible babysitter with tricks involving a guillotine; smoke bombs; a joybuzzer; a broken chair; an artificial spilled glass; and ugly masks. As Linda gives out candy to visiting kids, she is immediately annoyed by the brat in her care, and is easily rattled as she falls prey to his mischief over n' over again. During a bed check, Malcolm overpowers Nurse Reeves (by humping her from the sounds of which she enjoys) and steals her uniform (and wig).
Outside with ease, he punch-outs a security guard and steals a car, making his way back to Joan and Richard. When Christopher goes into exaggerated death throes, Linda tells him the fable of 'The Boy who Cried Wolf' in hopes of him quitting with the pranks but he pays no mind. As Brett phones and is told of the practical joking/drama she has to put up with, Malcolm also calls but hangs up hearing Linda's voice. From an upstairs window, she sees Christopher floating face down in the backyard pool which is another ruse -- to be kissed when she desperately applies CPR (which looks icky). And he doesn't let up with his elaborate stunts. In the kitchen, he cuts sausage and then cries pretending he's cut off a finger. As Linda has put on one of Joan's nightgowns in preparation of bootycall-by-Brett, Malcolm phones again, this time saying he'll be by which is mistaken for Christopher's continuing antics. As she strolls through his room with enfant terrible now appearing as a vampire, he denies being on the phone. Meanwhile, Malcolm is walking down the Wilshire Blvd strip and is hit on by a wino where he takes off with the man's booze who tried to ply him with liquor. He then hits a diner where he steals a knife over the counter and skips out on paying for coffee. Joan calls Linda to enquire about Christopher and is told her son is no picnic, but Mom considers him harmless just as "perfect angel" rigs up a fake door knocker attached to a hanging decoration to further drive Linda crazy. As Christopher runs off, Linda is now giving candy to costumed drunken adults showing up, and still has a bee in her bonnet over the bothersome obscene phone calls which now have her royally pissed. In an alley, Malcolm forces a homeless bum to remove his clothes and hops on a bus to suburbia.
Elsewhere, working into the night are 2 women, Andrea (Kesner, Graver's wife) and Connie, in a movie editing studio going over a cheesy horror flick ('The Monster Strikes') with a daffy scene involving a mad doctor dressed as Dracula implanting a severed head onto a patient while having forgotten to insert the brain. His 2 female assistants are bimbos with blondie getting a prompt of sexual innuendo. Linda calls Andrea to see if her part from a seperate project has been transferred to video, with Andrea promising to bring it over later on. Linda then watches a news report in the kitchen about maniac Malcolm's escape from the psycho ward which first begins with the assaulted Nurse Reeves recounting her attack (also with flaky sexual innuendo), and then descends into a swarm of asylum nutjobs in the background filling up the screen to Linda's amusement. Hearing noises, she grabs a flashlight and heads out the back door just as Malcolm enters the front door which was accidentally left ajar. Looking around he wanders upstairs and into the attic, as Linda walks in the yard and then the storage shed where Christopher drops a rat on her hand from atop a loft. Tired and with her sanity on the brink, she pleads with him to stop but he ponders his next gag. Andrea enters the house and not finding Linda, also heads upstairs peering into rooms where she too makes her way into the attic after hearing noises which she thinks is Linda goofing around. Malcolm jumps out and stabs her to death but is miffed that he hasn't killed Joan. Linda helps herself to some wine with Christopher throwing the pet cat at her, and speaks to Brett again who suggests she talk to the police about the phone calls. The cops tell her they can do zilch until the offender physically shows up, and the best she can do is keep her door locked. Great, thanks officer.
Christopher plays an album of horror sfx [with one cue known as 'Screams and Groans' which I instantly recognized from Disney's 1937 short, Lonesome Ghosts] but Linda is now unphased (translation: done with feeling like a dumbass for continually falling for clowning games turned stale) with this attempted raising of spooky atmosphere (even as it never occurs to her to turn the lights on beyond the lamps instead of keeping the house blanketed in darkness). After handing out more candy, Linda tucks Christopher asleep followed by Malcolm who approaches the kid (his son) with his knife but leaves him untouched to return downstairs. Standing behind her seated in the living room, he calls out thinking he's walking towards Joan. Linda watches him through a hand mirror as he nears and is told to shut up, while he expresses his hate & intended punishment. Now a raging kook, he grabs her; she jiggles out of his giggling clutches; is chased all around the house; and hides back in the loft with Malcolm right behind her. He stops to fawn over an old typewriter but cobweb-covered Linda gives herself away when she lets out a mousy yelp. Unable to start a car (damned stalled ignition), she runs back into the house and comes across Andrea's body stuffed in a closet. She grabs Christopher in his room and has him set up his guillotine as Malcolm having slowly crept up the stairs, ambushes them from behind. He falls forward in the contraption and Christopher brings the blade down though it doesn't decapitate him. [Yes, abracadabra, the bedroom toy prop is suddenly real(!) Thanks Mom & Dad]. The kid apologizes to Linda promising no more tricks and as she goes to call the police, Christopher is left alone where he picks up Malcolm's dropped knife and stares at it with an impish smile. As sitting Linda speaks on the phone, Christopher jumps up from behind her and plunges the knife downward, as we rest freeze-framed on Linda's crying face.
With a reputation as one of the crummiest cheapie slasher pics to emerge during the start of the early 80's boom, TRICK OR TREATS is a super lame variant of HALLOWEEN meeting shades of FRIGHT (1971), and NIGHTMARES IN A DAMAGED BRAIN. And even on that combo, if you're expecting anything disturbing to be delivered on a traditional twisted level, think again. This very disappointing weak flop is generally a dragging film that starts with a basic straight forward build-up and never properly picks up the pace. There are elements of misadventurous wacky comedy in the vein of THE KENTUCKY FRIED MOVIE [former NFL players Dan Pastorini and Tim Rossovich as the slapstick orderlies; Malcolm dressed in silly Nurse Ratchett drag with a batch of weirdos in the beginning mistaking him for a woman] and all the characters lack charisma. It's a slow road of boring suspense with a flagrant display of loopy 1982 mental illness mockery presented for sheer ridicule, and a conclusion that was trying to flabbergast but instead sputters out flat. From the stalker premise alone, this would have benefitted with frightening violence and an actual body count but instead is limper than a wet noodle because we get zero payoff due to an absence of pure terror from the slapdash repetitive dull goings-on that go nowhere. The single only death comes in at the 70min mark, and the strange cutaway of the lampoon movie within the movie trying perhaps to make some parody/meta commentary on what was a then anti-view/sentiment towards horror films is needless. [The mad doctor is John Blyth Barrymore from the famous Barrymore family. He is the half-brother of Drew, nephew of Diana (whose father was John), and grandnephew of Lionel & Ethel]. You know how there is a certain degree of aggravating problem child in some horror movies who get on every last nerve, and whom amongst the audience there will be viewers wishing for that kid's automatic death?...
...Christopher (who is the director's real son, and whose magic tricks came from none other than Orson Welles(!) is that rotten running wild whippersnapper almost inviting you to off him yourself. Exasperated & exhausted Linda (a low-rent Laurie Strode) gets fed up with his escalating shenanigans [of a quality that have the same crappiness as America's Funniest Home Videos] and mouthy backtalk. Mom [Snodgress, an ex- of Neil Young, and whose real home was used for filming] isn't utterly clueless (or for that matter in denial) with her little troublemaker as she mollycoddles him in substitute for not being a disciplinarian. And Richard [Carradine in an even more wasted role, who gets top billing for a total screen time of 6 minutes, and also appeared in Q: THE WINGED SERPENT which was released on the same day as TRICK OR TREATS] possibly provides the only insight for why unpleasant Christopher takes the cake in being an incessant pain in the ass, as Dad looks upon him with a demeanor of cold scorn. If there's any honest defense that can be made on behalf of Christopher it's that given his age, while he's no saint, he's clearly into the innocent festive spirit of the holiday but his rambunctious immaturity that spills into overexuberance (and a penchant for being a little sick) is enough to give anyone a migraine. His behavior really wears thin and thus the novelty of his tomfoolery wears off big time. And seeing his reveal in the finale shows he would certainly fit in with the devious trio of awful little fuckers from BLOODY BIRTHDAY. [How's this for another 'what if' pairing: try imagining Christopher crossing paths with Chucky or ParaNorman]... Overall, TRICK OR TREATS is a lethargic dud devoid of any excitement, and will have many thumbs on the fast forward button. Its best purpose may serve as being dropped in the bag of a monster-costumed candy seeker showing up at your door after you've run out of mini chocolates. [As a giveaway in place of lollipops & licorice, hopefully it'll keep your house from being egged & toilet papered which stands more of a likelihood if you give out apples].
Oh, one last thing: Prolific director Graver (who died at 68 from cancer in November 2006) incidentally is also in the AVN (Adult Video News) Hall of Fame for a 20yr career as a cameraman/writer/director in porn. What does it say when his involvement in some cornball classic XXX titles (such as WANDA WHIPS WALL STREET, AMANDA BY NIGHT, SUZIE SUPERSTAR, BARBARA THE BARBARIAN, JOANNA STORM ON FIRE, and THE EROTIC ADVENTURES OF ANNY FANNIE to name a select few) already sound like they are probably better than his Halloween effort?
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